Enneagram 9
The Peacemaker
Wings 8 & 1
Arrows 3 & 6
Type Nine
Friendly, comforting, trusting, and inclusive. Nines are supportive harmonizers who have the capacity to see all sides to a situation and can effortlessly create feelings of belonging for others. While they are easygoing, it’s also easy for them to go with the flow a little too much and become resentful or passive-aggressive after saying yes to things they didn’t actually want to do. Even though they are usually clear on what they don’t want, they can struggle with being decisive, something that both frustrates them and the people around them. They don’t want to be overly influenced by their environment, and avoid anything that could potentially rock the boat. Nines are good at allowing themselves to relax but that relaxing can turn into ignoring the things that really do need their attention. While moving into action can be tricky, they do not want to feel forced or pushed into it, it takes them time to land in what they want. When they mobilize for action they need to be mindful to chunk the final goal down to smaller, more manageable steps to avoid overwhelm.
Overview of Type 9
Core fear: To feel disconnected from others and be without internal or external peace
Core desire: To feel stable and be in a peaceful state
Focus of attention: External environment - going along with the agenda of others and maintaining harmony
Limited belief: I’m not able to have my own opinions because I’m unimportant so I must blend in
Liberated knowing: I am able to voice my truth because I matter
Strengths: Supportive, accepting, stable, can see multiple points of view easily, calming, easygoing, generous, attentive
Blind spots: Intrinsic peace and self-empowerment
Three part defense system:
Defense mechanism: Narcotization - doing what makes you comfortable, rather than facing what is present - a “numbing out”
Avoidance pattern - Conflict
Idealized self-image - "I am peaceful"
Enneagram Nines use the defense mechanism of narcotization to avoid conflict and maintain the idealized self-image of being "peaceful". The idealized self-image is who our type structure believes we need to be, and we can unconsciously or consciously avoid anything that challenges this image. As a Nine learns to engage in conflict, and knows that conflict can actually create more peace, it deepens connection within themselves and with others.
Mental healing & growth:
Moving from habit of mind to holy idea - self-forgetting to holy love
Self-forgetting - Neglecting your own priorities and not listening to your own inner voice
Holy Love - Knowing that you are worthy of being seen, which allows you to participate with the whole of life and experience the profound unity with all things
Emotional healing & growth:
Moving from passion to virtue - disengagement to conscious action
Disengagement - Separating from your own feelings, wants, or desires and avoiding necessary experiences, which may include conflict
Conscious Action - A willingness to encounter what’s important, which allows you to be awake, engage in all of life, and move forward while valuing yourself
Coping strategies
True Self
Getting in touch with your emotions and being more direct about how you feel
Practicing tuning into yourself and focusing on what matters
Expressing yourself and what you think
Regularly asking yourself what you want and asking for support in this
Recognizing the pattern, pause, name the feeling, and explore why it's there
Type Structure
Engaging in stubborn or passive-aggressive behaviors and ignoring your anger
Forgetting your priorities and going along with others agendas
Avoiding conflict to avoid discomfort or disconnection
Going along to get along
Numbing out with food, alcohol, TV, etc.
Creating emotional safety with a 9
Give them time and space to speak
Listen to them, really listen
Let them know that conflict isn’t an end, it’s just a conversation
Support them when they’re feeling their anger
Reminders as a 9
It's good to dig into discomfort
Love yourself the way you love others
Conflict can create closeness
Your anger is letting you know what's important
Create and stick to your own agenda and priorities
Your goals matter
Being a separate self does not create separation
Breaking the stereotypes
People can think I…
Will be lazy and nap all of the time
Don't have opinions
Am a pushover
Never engage in conflict
Won't make decisions
The whole truth is I…
Can be outgoing and lively
Have lots of opinions but can be afraid that no one wants to hear them
Am learning to stand my ground
Would love for my truth to be heard
Can be very decisive
“When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.”
— Audre Lorde